


Reflection

by Aidaran



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Books, Canon-Typical Violence, Cardassian, DS9 senior staff fluff, Defiant - Freeform, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Garak on a leash, Gen, Genetic Engineering, Klingon, Light AU, Light Angst, M/M, Medicine, Mirror Universe, References to Shakespeare, Smiley suffers as much as Miles, Space Battle, Teddy Bears, Terran, battles, description of injury, empok nor, terran resistance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-05
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-22 16:10:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17665814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aidaran/pseuds/Aidaran
Summary: Julian Bashir crosses universes and meets Jules Bashir, while the terran rebels prepare to battle against the klingon-cardassian alliance. At first he finds no common ground with his mirror image, but are they really so different? what is it that makes him be himself?-----“Look at my world, look to what is left of humanity. Do you think we have time to play fairies and pretty creatures here?”“So, I guess you don’t like A Midsummer Night's Dream that much, uh?”Jules smiled weakly.“Actually that one is my favorite. No one here even knows I can read”.--------Sisko was not pleased to be woken up at 3 in the morning to hear a new plan. Much less by not one, but two versions of Julian, bug-eyed and talking at once, gesticulating and looking at each other as if they were the smartest beings on the ship. If one talked too much for his taste, with two he needed at least 3 raktajinos to endure.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story would still be a very sad < 200-long draft if StarTravel had not helped me find what I wanted to say. She totally guided me in the making of Jules, beta'ed, pointed to me a big, big thing I was forgetting, and gave me a lot of ideas!

Julian was a bit disappointed.

He had expected to find he was totally like himself in the mirror universe. The last time he’d been there he had encountered the counterpart of many of his friends so he knew they tended to be different, but somehow, he imagined he would be like Smiley, able to keep being himself even in a dark and terrible world.

Instead, the man in front of him was thin, with a week-long beard, dark circles around his eyes, and very, very rude. He was dying to ask questions, to find out if he’d been subjected to medical enhancements, how they were alike and how they were not, but things kept exploding around them, so he had already been told to shut it a couple times by Captain Sisko.

They crawled through narrow tunnels, while the ground shook and debris felt on their heads. Smiley was in the front, guiding them, and Sisko in the back, checking all the time they were not being followed. So the two Julians crawled almost side by side. Where one was clean, well fed and looked excited, the other was dirty, starved and had a very mean expression. Julian had expected as much in the physical department, but the murderous expression on Jules’ face was making him really nervous.

“Turn right! Quick!” Smiley was guiding them. They had abducted him because they needed a doctor for his resistance cell, and when Sisko had tried to save him, somehow they both had ended up crossing. Needless to say, the captain was tired of ending on the other side of the mirror. They got up and started to run through a narrow corridor.

An explosion shook the ground and a rock hit Jules’ head, rendering him unconscious. Smiley looked more annoyed than worried when he crouched to check how bad the damage was.

“As much as I'd like to leave that bastard behind, we can't just yet. Help me carry him!”

Well, another difference, Julian thought. Apparently they were not best friends. Sisko took him as if he weighed nothing and threw him over his shoulder. Probably he did actually weight close to nothing. If Julian was always thin no matter how much he ate, Jules was probably suffering a lot from being so underfed.

They arrived at the hideout and it was clear why Julian was needed there. The smell of illness and rotten flesh stung his nose.  Immediately he straightened his shoulders, assessing the place and the patients.

“How long have you been without a doctor?”

“Too long. Can you do something?” Smiley answered.

“Yes, first I'll fix Jules’ head and then I'll tend to the rest of the people”.

“He is not priority”, a dark-skinned Vulcan said.

“His head is bleeding and he is unconscious. If you don’t mind, since _I_ am the doctor, I will decide what is priority and what is not”.

He ran his scanners. Jules had scar tissue all over his body and many bones seemed to have mended in curious ways, so Julian wondered if he'd ever been even treated properly or everything had been left to heal on its own. He was also malnourished and had some minor infections. But the most pressing matter was the blood loss. He immediately sealed the wound and injected a hypo. When Jules started to stir, the doctor got up and faced the Vulcan.

“So, _now_ tell me what is priority, according to _you_ ”.

The Vulcan took him to another room and showed him the worst patients. Most of them seemed about to die.

“Can you do something for them, doctor?”

“I'll try my best, mister...”

“Tuvok. I will assist you”.

He crouched next to a very ill woman and started to scan her, without looking at the Vulcan.

“Well, you can start by loading the hypo. Do you know how to do it? Got any medical training?”

“None of us has ever been treated by a real doctor before”.

“Well, then, you can help me with the bandages?”

“That would be more likely”.

Julian made a mental note to start training the Vulcan at least with the most basic aspects of medical care. But for now, he had at least 20 critical patients and he was not ready to let any of them down.

 

After working for 16 hours straight in the makeshift infirmary, Julian was assigned to Jules' quarters. He looked at the dirty room. Jules’ clothes were all over the floor, and there was a big stash of old, moldy, very deteriorated books on a corner. Jules was already there, resting after his injury, but got up immediately when he heard him come in.

“What's this?” Julian touched the old books with care. They seemed about to disintegrate. He wondered how old they were, and how many times they had been read.

“Don't you read in your world?” Jules' voice was clipped. He was still angry to be stuck sharing quarters with his counterpart. He may had mended his head, but that didn't mean he could just make himself at home in his little corner. And like hell he'd give him the bed. Julian would have to do with the sheets they had provided him and sleep on the floor.

“Yes, we do, but... We mostly use padds”.

“Look around, do we strike as the kind of people who can just get padds and nice commodities?”

“So, how did you get these?”

Julian flipped the pages. There were all sort of Terran classics, as well as some outworld ones. He wondered if Shakespeare was the same as he started to read Richard the Third. Yes, apparently it was very similar. Maybe a bit darker, but it was hard to get any darker than it already was on his Earth. So the divergence of their worlds probably had happened later. He was not too interested in history but Sisko was, so he made a mental note to mention that to the captain later.

“It doesn't matter”, Jules mumbled.

“Did you steal them?” there was no judgment in Julian’s voice. He knew he’d do anything to get books, after all.

“I have Ferengi contacts. I've exchanged meal rations for that one, so you better be careful”.

Julian looked fondly at the book, so Jules relaxed a bit.

“This is one of my favorites. I used to debate it with Garak”.

Jules narrowed his eyes and spat the floor.

“That damn Cardassian torturer?”

“I met your Garak last time I was here. But he is a tailor in my world”. Julian smiled widely and kept reading.

“Like hell he is”.

“Well, he was a spy as well. And a gardener”. Julian laughed softly.

“What is it that's so funny?”

“You”. Jules started to press his fists. Julian was totally oblivious to the danger he was putting himself into. “I mean, you probably have even bleaker views than Garak. I’d like to discuss literature with you, see what you think of things”. He flashed him his brightest smile.

Jules relaxed. For a moment, he’d been close to punching his counterpart.

“Look at my world, look to what is left of humanity. Do you think we have time to play fairies and pretty creatures here?”

“So, I guess you don’t like A Midsummer Night's Dream that much, uh?”

Jules smiled weakly.

“Actually that one is my favorite. No one here even knows I can read”.

 

The days were exhausting in the mirror universe. Sisko would go out in the Defiant, while Julian stayed in the base and tended to the wounded and trained Tuvok. Nobody really liked Jules, but he still would act as base commander when no one else was around. Honestly, it was hard to blame them. Jules was rude, impatient, had terrible manners and a swift tendency to violence. Julian despised him sometimes. He wondered how they could be so dissimilar, how the compassion he felt was at his core seemed to be lacking.

“Help me with this, would you Jules?”

“I'm busy”.

“Oh, and is that more important than saving a life? _You_ were the one that crossed to get me here, now come and make yourself useful”.

“Are you always so annoying in your universe?”

Jules pressed on the wound while Julian closed it with a dermal regenerator. He seemed to be making a bit more pressure than was necessary, and Julian wondered if that was on purpose.

“Well, that depends on who you ask, I guess. You can let go”. Jules immediately took his hands off the wound and wiped his hands in his already bloodstained pants. “Miles will tell you that yes, I am annoying all the time, my nurses will tell you I am passionate, and Garak... Well, I'm sure he'll tell you he likes me regardless of my Federation ideas. Here, have this and give me a piece of bandage when I ask you”.

“Garak again. You are really close to that fucking bastard, aren't you?”

“Well, he is not a bastard in my world... Now, give me the bandage. Thank you. Well, he is a literal bastard, considering his origin, of course, but not as a person”.

“He is not a person, he is a Cardassian”.

“Give me some more... No, longer. That's it. Why, Cardassians are not people?”

“Not in my experience”.

“I guess your experience is a lot worse than mine”.

“Oh, I am sure of that”.

Tuvok approached Jules and whispered something. Jules got the bandage down and took out a phaser.

“Don't make a noise. I will be right back”.

Julian sighed. He heard the phaser blasts from the corridors and wondered how many people would end up in his precarious infirmary this time. Every time Jules told him to wait, he'd come back with burned, punched, shot ones. That universe seemed to be a never-ending parade of pain. He had thought when the Dominion War was first starting he’d eventually get used to that, but every time he had to treat someone suffering from war, he felt a bit of him died. Sometimes he wondered if there would be any Julian left by the time the war was finished. Lately, he wondered if Jules was what would be left when all of Julian had died.

Tuvok ran back, carrying a semi-unconscious Jules, with a big blast wound in his chest. He was barely alive and spluttered blood, but still trashed and tried to get away in panic.

“What happened?”

“Cardassians. He got to the front to stop them. Can you help him?”

“I'll do my best, Tuv...”

Tuvok ran away, back to the battle. Some of the patients were trying to get a glimpse of the dying man, and Julian had to act quickly just to stop the blood loss. His first action was to sedate him, so he'd stop trying to escape. He wondered how much pain had Jules endured in his life, and started to think that maybe it was not that he was a horrible person. Just a very wounded, very frightened one.

 

Jules regained consciousness and found himself in a makeshift bed, with a big bandage across his chest. Julian was tending to other patients, but he turned the moment he heard him stir.

“How do you feel?”

“Like shit”.

“You should. You’ve been shot point blank. I think you made it alive out of spite more than anything”.

“Would not be the first time”.

Julian got to his side and offered him a drink.

“Here, take it”.

“You wouldn’t happen to have something a little stronger, would you?” Jules said with a weak smile. Even the water tasted terrible in that place.

“Well, I have a nice selection of beverages. You can choose between dirty water, dirtier water, and that greenish stuff that is liquid but we don’t dare to analyze. Which one would you prefer?”

Jules laughed, and for the first time, it was not a bitter sound.

“I think I’ll take the chances with the green stuff. Sounds like something the Ferengi would serve”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are love!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julian gets on Jules' nerves. Repeatedly.

“So, Jules, ehm… you live alone here?”

Julian was dying to know more about his counterpart. Asking about his quarters seemed like a good place to start. They were messy and dirty, as everything in the resistance headquarters, but there was something that was so _Julian_ about them. The books, the little mementos hidden in some places. The clothes that Garak would have probably burned where they stood because they were an offense to good taste. There was a little plant, and Julian wondered to what extents Jules had to go to keep it alive, since water was a commodity and solar light was something that never touched that corner of the universe.

“I don’t like company. Jadzia used to come but she never stood for the night”.

Julian’s eyes sparkled with interest. So at least one of them had actually had a chance with her.

“Oh, you two were… involved?”

“You weren’t?”

Julian chuckled at the memories of his first very awkward years in DS9. He felt like it had been centuries ago when he was so young and naïve.

“No, Dax always had me at arm's length”.

“Dax?”

“She doesn’t… didn’t have a symbiont here?”

“Trill symbionts got extinct some years ago, under Emperor’s Georgiou’s reign. She bombed the breeding ponds with acid”.

“Oh, so… well, Jadzia and I are good friends now. And she was happy when she heard about me and Garak. I think she was the only one”.

Julian smiled even wider, but Jules expression grew colder.

“What about you and Garak?”

“Well, isn’t it sort of obvious? I mean, I talked about him at least 10 times already”. Jules looked at him with despise. Julian scratched the back of his head. “We sort of… got together after I shot him. Talk about both of us being totally Cardassian sometimes”.

“The only good part of all you said was that you shot him”.

“Well, he survived. Obviously”.

“And then?”

“Well, he moved to my quarters some months later”.

 

It was one of those unusual days when things were quiet. Tuvok was sitting on the floor, reading a padd with interest. Julian had insisted on making him learn first aid at least. After all, he was not planning to stay there forever.

Julian was trying to calculate if bringing refugees from that universe to his would cause an imbalance, and for now, he had not been able to find a way to counteract the difference in matter that would happen after that, but he was quite confident he eventually would find a way around. He was totally engrossed with his calculations so he didn’t notice Jules was standing next to him until he sat on the floor and looked over his shoulder.

“What are you doing?”

Julian passed him the padd.

“Any suggestions?”

“I don’t understand what this is”.

“Well, I’m trying to compensate the mass loss that would happen if we brought refugees from your universe to mine. At this point, I’m wondering if there’s a way to throw a small planet to this side. I don’t know, something the size of Bajor’s smallest moon would weight roughly as… 120.000 thin refugees? I’m having trouble calculating the correct amount, we can’t be too careful with that sort of thing. So, what do you think?”

Jules had a blank expression.

“Well, say something. Look at the calculations, do you think it could work? Maybe I should take famine into account?”

“How do you expect me to know?”

“Well, you are… me. I sort of… assumed, you…”

Jules got up and threw the pad.

“Don’t assume anything. The only use I have had for numbers is body count, or rations distribution”. Julian looked guilty. “Don’t you have anything to do around here? If you are bored, you could help with the cleaning. And there’s a water leak in the upper level, you could go there with Smiley”.

Julian got to his feet, feeling angry.

“I am not here for ‘cleaning’. I was brought here because you needed me, and I think trying to save at least some people is not being idle. If you don’t feel up to the task of helping me, then perhaps _you_ can go clean”.

The only thing that stopped Jules’ fist from hitting Julian was Tuvok, who had been listening and realized there would be trouble sooner than Julian. He held Jules tightly while the man struggled and tried to hit his counterpart.

“Oh, so you are so much better than all of us? You are so smart, and so instructed, and so above all of us dirty terrans? Well, you know what? If we die, you will die too, I don’t think your sweet little Garak will come save you here!”

Jules spat at Tuvok, but he still didn’t let go. Julian held his ground, feeling angrier and angrier.

“That’s not what I meant!”

“Oh, enlighten me then!”

“I just thought you could think of a better way of doing this”.

“If I manage to live another year, I’ll be lucky. Why would I care about crossing some refugees to the other side”.

Julian looked at his feet and Jules calmed down. Tuvok risked letting go of him, but still stood between them.

“I… I wanted to get you to my side. You know, you and all the people here. You’d be able to feed. Study. I’d lend you books”.

Jules sighed. They stood in silence for some seconds. Finally he decided to make a peace offering.

“And maybe your Cardassian, once you get bored of him?”

Julian smiled weakly.

“No. That one I won’t share”.

Jules chuckled and all three men relaxed a bit.

 

“So, how did your parents… you know, do it?” Julian had been dying to ask that question for the longest time, and after the incident from the morning, he just couldn’t postpone it anymore.

Jules was reading from the padd Julian had given him so at first didn’t answer, until Julian repeated the question. And repeated it. And repeated it. He took his eyes from the novel with a very annoyed expression.

“Do what, Julian?”

“Enhance you”.

“I don’t know what you are talking about. And my parents died a long time ago. I was raised a slave”.

“The… you know, the genetic enhancements”.

“I don’t have any. Why would I?”

“So, you are all… you?”

“Look, Julian, I don’t know what you are trying to say. Can you shut up and let me read?”

But Julian was not ready to drop the issue.

“When I was 6 I was slow. So they… they gave me a treatment. I got smarter, faster, got better coordination”.

Jules put down the pad and sat in his bed. Julian had been getting on his nerves the whole day and he just didn’t seem ready to stop doing it any time soon.

“When I was 6 I was slow, so they beat it the fuck out of me. When I was uncoordinated, I’d fall and get kicked or walked over. I learned to read with a Vulcan slave. When they found out, he was lashed to death, and then I was sent to the mines. So maybe, the end result of being beaten is not too different from being lovely injected with whatever shit they gave you”.

“I am not happy I was enhanced. I’m not trying to show off or anything. But since we are the same in so many ways, I thought…”

“We are not, Julian. We just share a face”.

“We are genetically the same, sans my enhancements”.

“Oh, and I guess you would know because you had the chance to study, and have nice books, and a warm bed. Why, you probably even ate every day of your life!”

“I didn’t ask to be enhanced! My parents killed the son they had with what they did”.

“Oh, poor little Julian. He got some treatment to get him better, and now he feels bad about it”.

“Everything I was was killed with that treatment. I stopped being myself!”

“So, you were me before, and what, it was so horrible you need to rub it on me?”

“That… that’s not what I’m saying. I feel my parents killed what made me… me, there”.

“Well, did they?”

Julian looked at his counterpart. Under all the dirt, the sharpness, the lack of education, was he really so different? He’d always believed he’d been broken into pieces and then assembled again, but suddenly he was not so sure. Maybe, they both had been broken into pieces, but they had not been assembled quite in the same way.

“I don’t know. And that scares me”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, comments are love, and I try to answer every time! (unless I'm stuck fighting with a code assignment, or in fetal position because the assignment won).


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julian has a chat with Sisko about Jules. Jules gets to do a bit of medicine.

Julian was almost asleep when he heard Jules move. He opened one eye.

“Something wrong?”

“Shut up. Keep sleeping”.

Jules was definitely searching for something. Julian really wanted to help. If his mirror image was so ready to turn his room upside down, it was probably something important.

“I can help you if you want”.

“I don't. Just shut up”.

He finally found whatever it was, so he made a little noise of triumph and went back to the bed. Julian turned, because now he really wanted to know what was happening. A memento from Jadzia, perhaps? A book? Maybe medicine? Then he saw it.

“Kukalaka!”

Jules looked like he had been caught doing something wrong. He clutched his bear and pressed it to his chest with so much force it looked like its eyes would pop up.

“How did you know his name?”

“I have one too!”

“With the same name?”

Not only the name. This Kukalaka was patched up and sewed even more clumsily. Probably Jules had never had access to a lot of tools, so some of the patches had different colors. Also, Jules seemed a lot less coordinated, so probably he’d hurt his fingers a lot trying to sew. But still it was the same bear.

“He even looks so much alike! Do you sleep with him?”

Jules glared and for a moment it seemed he would not reply at all.

“Don't you dare tell anybody”.

“The only person that knows about Kukalaka in my universe is Garak. And I even managed to get him to tell him goodnight... I wonder, will he tell him that every day when I am not around?”

Jules couldn't believe how cringe-worthy his counterpart was. Asking the Cardassian to talk to his bear? Then again, Jadzia had always been very kind to Kukalaka, and he had found her talking to him more than once. But it was _Jadzia,_ not a Cardassian. Of course it made sense Jadzia had talks with Kukalaka.

“Well, _I_ don't tell Kukalaka goodnight”.

“But you hug him to sleep, don't you?”

“Shut up, Julian”.

“Can I... Can I hold him? Just a little”.

“No. Kukalaka sleeps with me”.

Julian pouted a little but couldn’t convince Jules to let go of his bear. He looked at him while his breathing stilled as he fell asleep. Jules never stopped hugging his bear, and he wondered what meaning Kukalaka held for him.

 

“Captain, you got hit pretty hard”.

They were in the Defiant. Julian was patching up Sisko after a battle. He had burns all over his body, and a Klingon that had boarded them had managed to give him a pretty bad concussion.

“You don’t need to tell me, doctor”. Julian worked in silence until all the wounds were closed. “You are quite quiet today”.

Julian looked at him, still with a glassy look in his eyes. He’d been lost in his thoughts without even realizing.

“Am I?”

“Usually at this point I’d be getting a lot of instructions of how not to get killed next time”.

“Instructions you wouldn’t follow anyway”. They both smiled at that. “Maybe I… I have a lot on my mind”.

“Want to talk about it?”

Julian got his tools down and sat near his captain.

“I don’t know”.

“It is about Jules, isn’t it?”

“Captain, what do you think of him?”

Sisko smiled at him. Julian felt, not for the first time, he was talking not to a superior, but to a father, which was odd, considering he had never had good talks with his own, so he really didn’t know how a fatherly talk should be.

“Well, you two are quite alike”.

“We are not! There’s so much that is different!”

“Such as…”

“He is blunt. And aggressive”.

“I’ve seen you in the battlefield. And don’t get me started with the bluntness”. Julian got flustered and Sisko’s smile grew.

“Yes, but he doesn’t act with kindness. He wouldn’t stay behind to tend for a wounded mate”.

“No, but he will go to the front and end up being shot so others are not”.

“He is not passionate about the things I am”.

“I overheard you yesterday talking about Shakespeare in the mess hall. For _three hours_ ”.

Julian blushed.

“I thought we were quiet. And it was a slow day”.

“Julian, you can’t be quiet. You two were shouting about Hamlet’s psychology”.

Julian stilled and thought a bit before speaking again. He really needed to get that out of his system.

“He is not… he has not been… his parents didn’t…” he took a breath. “He is not enhanced”.

“And that worries you?”

“That makes me wonder who Jules, my Jules, was in the first place. Who I was until I was 6”.

Sisko put his hand over Julian’s.

“Jules was the same person you are, sans the ability to do math in his head. Of that much I am sure”.

“My parents killed Jules”.

Julian felt his throat tighten and for a moment he thought he would sob. He had not talked about that with anybody but Miles. Not even Garak could understand how it was to know he’d been a different person until somebody decided he was not enough, having the knowledge he’d never even know what that person could have done in life.

“Did they? Don’t get me wrong, what they did was terrible, but I don’t think they managed to kill the core of you. You can’t get passion or kindness out of a shot, Julian. You can’t inject loyalty and the desire to make the world better. You are more than the sum of your genes”.

Before Julian could say anything, Tuvok called for the Captain, and Sisko got up, patting Julian’s arm reassuringly.

 

Everything was rocking, and Julian was holding to a cabinet to keep from falling. One of his patients had hit the floor and was bleeding, but he was not able to move and help her, because every time he tried to, another blast would destabilize the Defiant and send him tumbling to another piece of furniture.

Jules entered with great effort to the room, and assessed the situation.

“Jules! Can you help her?”

Another shock, and all three were send flying. Julian heard a nasty noise and didn’t have to look to know he’d broken his arm and probably his bone was exposed. He also suspected he had sprained his ankle, judging by the sharp pain. Now there was no way he’d be able to do anything.

Jules was trying to get the Bajoran female to a bed, and after he managed, he tried to help move Julian, but he told him to wait. Little by little the rocking was slowing down, but he had no way of treating either of them. He thought about calling Tuvok, but judging by the next shook that made him scream in pain, the Vulcan was needed on the bridge.

“Jules. You’ll have to treat us”.

Jules opened his eyes in a panic.

“I have no idea how!”

“I’ll guide you”. Jules shook his head, eyes wide open and recoiling almost in panic. “Jules! I have a broken arm and ankle, and that woman may die! Go get a tricorder and listen to me!”

“I’m not… I can’t…”

“You are me, except for… you know, going to medical school and eating every day”. Julian was having trouble talking.

“And courting Cardassians”. That made them both smile a little.

“That too. Go get… the tricorder and pass it over her head. Tell me what it says”. He could feel sweat on his brow, and wondered if the ship was getting colder or it was just him.

Jules walked with unsteady feet, trying not to tumble. Every time the ship took a blast, Julian would stifle a moan or a scream, and he was quite sure he’d faint any moment now.

Jules read the values, at first shakily but gaining confidence little by little, and then loaded a hypo as Julian instructed. His expression when the dermal regenerator stopped the bleeding was inscrutable, but Julian suspected it was close to awe. By the time he finished and crouched next to Julian, the doctor was almost passing out.

“Julian. Julian!” he didn’t react. “Julian, what I do next? Do I pass the regenerator over your arm? Should I push the bone inside first? Julian!”

“… what?”

“Wake up or I’ll hit you! I need to know what to do with your bone!” Jules was almost panicking. One of his hands was trembling, and his knuckles were white where he held the tricorder.

“Pass the… tricorder. Read it to me”. Jules did as was told. Julian got silent for a minute, thinking.

“Is it bad? What do I do? Julian!”

“Jules. I… need you to get the white tool in the second cabinet… no, no, that… yes. Now. I’ll explain what to do, but… don’t stop even if I scream. We don’t have any more… sedatives left. And… I’ll explain what to do with the ankle, in case I… lose consciousness. Can you manage on your own?”

“Do I have a choice?”

“Not if you want me to live”.

“Then explain it to me”.

Julian did, and when Jules put the bone in place, he screamed and trashed until he passed out. He mended his arm and then the knee. When he finished, he laid on the floor, next to him, holding his knees and trying to still his breathing. He didn’t even try to get Julian to a bed, he knew in his state he would not be able to stop shaking.

Tuvok found them both sleeping on the floor when the battle ended.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, comments are love! I'm having a blast trying to figure out how Jules really is under all the dirt and mean attitude.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rebels decide to make a bold move in Empok Nor, and Jules and Julian are faced with hard decisions and familiar faces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thank you to StarTravel, who beta'ed me, helped me navigate a chapter that was extremely hard to write and tie up, and told me that "squeezing somebody's throat" is choking. It is important to have someone who can help you when you are not sure how to torture your characters, you know. Last time it was with "lashing to death". If it was not for her, I would end up in prison because of my google searches. And I don't think they'll let me write as much as I write now from prison.

“Captain, we should reconsider it. Most of my calculations predict we will not be successful. We have less than a 10% chance of winning that battle”. Julian was pacing up and down the bridge. He knew how many lives would be lost.

“Doctor, you know the only chance for the people here is to get that station into their power. And we are outsiders, we can interfere only to a certain extent. The final decision is always in their hands”.

The plan was to take the station of Empok Nor. With the rebel forces in possession of Terok Nor and Empok Nor, the klingon-cardassian alliance would be forced to retreat, and many factions that were reluctant to choose sides would join them after that demonstration of force. It was a big gamble, and Julian was sure it would be a bloody one. He had made all the calculations.

“I’m sure if I talk with Jules I can convince him to...”

“It was his plan. As much as I think it may be a reckless one, I also understand why he thinks they need to do it”.

“People will die”.

“People will die if they don’t take that station, too. Klingon forces are coming here, we need to make them break formation”.

“Still, there must be another way”.

“Prepare your medkits and all the people you trained in field medicine. I’m sorry, doctor, but this is the final plan”.

 

Julian laid on his bed on the Defiant, restless, his eyes fixed on the top bunk of it as if he could look through it to the sleeping form of Jules. He had been already asleep when he got there, so there had been no chance to discuss the plan.

Julian was aware they needed to make a big statement. To wreak havoc amongst their enemies. To expand their territory. Still, all he could think of was the casualties estimation. Failure meant a death toll that was rivaled only by the dominion war.

Julian turned on the bed and sighed.

“Stop moving. I can’t sleep”. So Jules was not asleep after all.

“I thought you were able to sleep anywhere, Jules.”.

“Not before battle”.

“About that...”

“Julian, I was told at least 10 times about your calculations today. Don’t start”.

“Don’t you care people will die, Jules?”

“Don’t you care we have been starving slaves for most of our lives?”

“I didn’t mean...”

“You never mean it Julian!”

Jules was shouting now. He had jumped from his bed and was walking around the room like a caged animal. Julian stood up too, facing him.

“You can’t even begin to understand. How long were you a slave in the mines when you were here the last time? 2 days? I was a slave for 25 years, Julian. Jadzia was too. She was willing to give her life, and so am I. Is that clear?”

“Jules, please... I just want to suggest something to minimize casualties. Please?”

Jules passed his hands over his hair a couple times to calm himself and stopped roaming.

“Fine. Tell me”.

“Since I can’t convince you to search for new allies first, I reviewed your plans.”.

“And?”

“Maybe we should storm in not from one pylon, but all three at once".

“We don’t have that many people".

“No, but you know what we have in the Defiant for comms?”

Julian raised one eyebrow, and Jules thought for a second, until he understood.

“A holographic invasion?”

“Yes, on all three pylons! Once they have their forces running around and separated, we can invade from the...”

“Lower decks! And we can make our forces go up to the bridge and...”

“Take regent Worf and Garak prisoner and...”

“Intendant Kira too, and then we make a lockout and flood the upper floors with anesthesine gas and...”

“Oh, we need to make Sisko hear the new plan!”

 

Sisko was not pleased to be woken up at 3 in the morning to hear a new plan. Much less by not one, but two versions of Julian, bug-eyed and talking at once, gesticulating and looking at each other as if they were the smartest beings on the ship. If one talked too much for his taste, with two he needed at least 3 raktajinos to endure.

“Slow down, both of you. How do you expect to make that work? This Defiant barely holds it together as it is".

“Oh, I’m sure Smiley will be able to do the proper changes in the system if we wake him right now”. Julian smiled, proud of their plan.

“I could go wake him right now, so he can get to work". Jules was smiling in the same way Julian was. _I’m starting to think the doctor is a terrible influence,_ Sisko thought while drinking his second coffee. He sighed. No way out of this.

“I think the chief will be more receptive if I go make the suggestion”.

“But sir! He needs us to tell him the exact plan so he can make adjustments!”

“I trust you have put all that in a padd”. Julian gave it to him. “Then, I’ll give him the pad and put him to work. Go to sleep, gentlemen. And let _me_ sleep as well, once I finish talking with the chief. We have a long day ahead”.

 

“Yes, I’m sorry chief. I know you’ve been putting double shifts for a week. But I reviewed their plan and it is sound”.

The chief was unable to hate Jules any more than he was hating him right now, sitting on the bridge, with all of his meager crew, making adjustments for a system he was not even sure why they had installed in the first place.

“Tell me again how the figures changed with this modifications they suggest”.

Sisko read them to him. Smiley couldn't help a surprised whistle. It was a big change. And their success rate rose from 10% to 65%.

“And you think it may work, captain?”

“For all our sakes, I hope so”.

“Then you’ll have this working by tomorrow’s morning, one hour before the invasion".

 

They followed the Julians’ plan, and soon enough, when the forces were scattered, following a holographic Defiant and then a holographic crew, they used the real, cloaked one to get under the station and invade. Desperation makes people bold, and after a short skirmish, they managed to get to the bridge. While they were fighting their way up, the Defiant fired on the pylons, managing to destroy two of them. Now the enemy tropes were reduced to probably half than what they originally were. They were still more than the rebel ones, but the odds were better.

Jules was on the vanguard, while Julian was on the back, medkit in one hand, phaser gun in the other, but he started to make his way to the front as they reached the doors. They had a cardassian encryption, and he thanked Gods he didn’t believe in for that. If it had been a klingon one, he wasn’t sure it would had been as easy for him.

“Can you crack it?” Jules was anxious, watching their backs. He whispered and crouched next to Julian.

“Yes, give me a minute. Garak taught me well. In fact this code is almost identical to one he designed”.

“I imagine”.

With a slight _click_ the doors unlocked. They looked through the small slit and counted the guards. 10 klingon, 7 Cardassians. It would be easier than they expected.

Jules gave the tropes the signal, telling them in silence how many guards were inside. They stormed the bridge, shouting and firing. Julian and Tuvok waited until all the rebels were inside before getting in, and the moment the bridge got quiet, they started to assess the damage. A movement near the commanding office alerted them, though. Julian got near Jules quietly.

“I think there’s somebody locked there”. Julian was whispering.

“I know, I saw movement. And the regent is not amongst the casualties”.

“Neither is Garak. And I’m sure the lock on the door was his".

Jules called for a couple armed rebels and they started to walk to the stairs in silence. Julian once again worked on the lock, but before he could finish, a blast coming from the inside destroyed the doors and hit them, making them fall from the stairs. Through a red curtain Julian was sure was made of blood, he saw Jules on the floor, with a pained expression and failing to get up, the guards unconscious, and Worf, with a chained by the neck Garak at his side. Had it not been such a dire situation, he would have either laughed or asked a lot of questions. Maybe it was the concussion, but he found it hard to concentrate, and all he could think was asking _his_ Garak about chains. _Maybe when we are together again I could..._

“Julian!” Jules tried to get him out of his reverie.

“Have you seen the chains?” Julian opened his eyes even bigger, and wiped them with his hand. He looked and saw it was red. Yes, definitely blood.

“Grab a phaser, Julian! Grab your phaser and throw it to me!”

“Why is Garak like that?” _and why did his head hurt so much?_

“Julian!”

“Is this blood? Is it mine?” he was so confused.

Jules crawled to his side, and Julian idly wondered if it was because Jules was not able to walk. It was so weird watching him crawl... was _he_ able to walk, now that he thought about it? It didn’t seem likely, but he was not sure why. And why was Garak laughing and approaching them? Was he... pointing a weapon at him? That was not his Garak, those were not his eyes.

“Julian, grab the phaser, please!”

Garak laughed and shot the unconscious guards dead.

“It seems it is now between you two and me, isn’t it?”

“Julian!”

Finally Julian seemed to snap out of his reverie. Probably because his enhanced brain had somehow allowed him to bypass the hit on his head, Jules thought. Garak was hovering over him, with the regent only some steps behind, holding his chain. Julian tried to get up, but soon found himself taken by the neck by the cardassian. He was so close he could smell his breath. Rancid. Definitely not his Garak.

“So, what should we do with you two? Such an interesting pair, are you twins?” He tugged at Julian’s hair painfully while he inspected his face. “No, this one seems so well fed. Probably from the other side of the mirror. Tell me, do you have another me on your side?” Julian made a strangled noise. “Oh, sorry, where are my manners? You can’t speak if you’re being choked”.

Garak let go of Julian, making him fall to the floor. Under him was his phaser. He looked at Jules and surreptitiously kicked the phaser. He coughed loudly and pushed it a bit closer to him.

“So nobody told you about my Garak? Oh, this is going to be great”.

“And why would it be so great, scum?”

Julian smiled coyly at him and moved the phaser a bit more. His expression was between smug and seductive.

“Mmm, I don’t quite like that word. Scum. He has so many better endearments for me, you know”. Julian was almost purring.

Jules got closer to the phaser. He still was not able to reach it, but couldn’t risk them noticing. He hoped Julian would be able to keep Garak entertained a bit longer.

“Endearments?”

“Yes, well, in the beginning they were all quite neutral. Dear, dear doctor, love... lately they are quite a bit... _dirtier._  I never imagined Kardassi had such words, I was appalled. Want to hear some of those?” Garak’s nostrils flared. ”But well, I’m sure you have _yours_ for the Regent, am I wrong?”

Worf roared with laughter and tugged at the chain, and Jules got just an inch away from the phaser. _Just one more, Julian, please._

“Don’t you dare!”

Garak’s hand bolted to grab Julian again, only to receive a phaser blast directly on his leg that made him fall. Jules shot at Worf, but they disappeared in a transporter haze before it hit him on the chest.

“Julian! Are you ok?”

“I think I could get a nice regenerator pass over my throat, but I’ll live. What about you?”

“I think you could look at my legs after you fix your throat. I’m afraid the door got over them”. Julian started to search for his medkit. “You first, Julian". Jules stopped, searching for words. “You were... amazing there. Really. And... I think I’d like to hear what kind of kardassi words you know".

“Oh, they are dirty all right. Think you will have a use for them in the future?” Julian started to fix his bleeding forehead. The damage was more extensive than he thought at first. No wonder he was unable to think.

“Well, since it seems we have a future now, you never know. Maybe I’ll have occasion to practice”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost there! I have one chapter to tie things up and an epilogue, and then, first multichapter story finished! (so have hope, one day all the others will be finished too)
> 
> Comments are love!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saying goodbyes, Julian wants to give Jules a gift. Jules wants to know about the other side of the Mirror. Someone tries to hijack the Defiant.

“Julian!”

“Just one minute, captain!”

“This is the fifth time you ask me for one more minute! You are even worse than Jake!”

Julian’s voice sounded muffled behind the wall. He heard something about bringing him more padds. Sisko rolled his eyes.

“Fine. I’ll meet you in the transporting room. Try to make it  _ before _ next year, doctor”.

Julian was practically swimming in padds. The mirror ones had so much less capacity than his own. He was trying to copy his entire collection for Jules, who was fascinated reading the titles of the ones he already had. They had only managed to copy to letter E, and still there were so many more books to go. He couldn’t believe it.

“Drop some fairytales too, will you? Kukalaka likes them”.

“Oh, my Kukalaka likes them too. I’m sure Garak read him some enigma tales when I was gone, poor bear. He’ll be so glad to have me back to read him something nicer”.

Jules looked at him, searching for words.

“So... before you go. Tell me a bit more about your friends over there. How we all are in your universe”.

“Well... Miles is my best friend. He is a lot like Smiley, except he likes me. We play darts, drink beer, play on the holodeck”.

Jules looked at him with a blank stare. That word meant nothing for him.

“Holodeck?”

“Yes, you know... holograms, fantasy programs. We play war games, and sometimes other things. King Arthur is a nice one, because we can all go there and play all sort of different characters. Garak loves to sew the costumes. He insists on making me look like a prince. I must have at least 10 different suits for that one already”.

“We don’t have holodecks here. Sounds like fun”.

“If you cross someday, I could take you there. And we could mess with Garak a bit! See if he can tell us apart. Well, next, there is Jadzia. I had a crush on her, didn’t really work, but it is ok, because we are friends now. I think she understands me more than Miles, maybe because she has the experience of so many lives”.

“I miss mine”. Jules looked into the distance for a moment and Julian wondered if he’d said something wrong. “What about the intendant and the shapeshifter?”

“We are not best friends but they are great too”. He got closer, as if telling a secret. “They are going out now”. He grinned like a madman, and Jules didn’t return the gesture. That information really meant nothing for him. Julian cleared his throat. “And then, well, of course, we have  _ my _ Garak. I shot him on a holoprogram, long story, and instead of going away, he took that as serious Cardassian flirting and started to hit hard on me. It took me a bit, but eventually I realized he was actually, really courting me”.

“I find it really hard to believe there’s a good version of him after what happened yesterday”.

“But don’t you find him sexy even when he is evil?”

“Gods, no, you are disgusting, Julian!”

Julian laughed. The padd made a beep indicating it was full and he sighed. He took a new one, formatted it and continued copying. He passed the completed one to Jules before speaking again.

“Your Garak is terrifying, I won’t deny that. And his breath is so less nicer than mine’s”.

“Please, Julian, I really don’t need those details”.

They heard muffled footsteps, and Smiley’s voice passed through the wall.

“You two, what the bloody hell are you doing? We’ve been waiting half an hour for you!”

“Chief, we are almost done! Just one minute”. Julian was not ready to depart without getting all of his library copied. “Anyway, as I was saying, Garak started to really go boldly after me. He’d break into the infirmary to practically drag me to the replimat at lunch. He called me at weird hours faking illnesses. And when he decided I was not understanding his ‘subtlety’, he just broke into my quarters in the middle of the night, with a pile of padds, springwine and some chocolates”.

“He’d be dead if he tried that here. I sleep with a phaser under my pillow”.

Julian rolled his eyes.

“I suspected that much. Well, I don’t, and anyway, the only two persons capable of hacking my door are Garak and Sloan”.

“Sloan? Another lover?”

Julian made a horrified face and Jules laughed.

“Oh, gods, no. Now  _ that  _ is disgusting, Jules. Don’t ever say something so horrible again”.

“Hey, we don’t have a Sloan here. For all I know he could be dead”.

“Or never born. That would be even better. Well, as I was saying, that night he brought some books to discuss, but things went downhill pretty fast and we ended up doing-”

“Julian, either shut up or go to the transporter room”.

“Hey! You asked!”

“Not about that! I really don’t want to hear those things as much as I don’t want to tell you about me and Jadzia”

Julian pouted.

“But I  _ want _ to hear about her! You barely told me about your Jadzia!”

“I never talk about her, Julian”.

“Why?”

Jules thought a bit.

“She was the one good thing I had in my whole life. She believed there was something good in me, that I could do better”.

“Jadzia always sees the best on everybody”.

“And now she is gone”. Julian just stood there, listening to the beeps of padds getting full, feeling his cheeks burn. “Well, maybe she managed to do one more thing”.

“What?”

Jules grinned, maybe for the first time.

“She managed to make you shut up. I was trying to do that for 3 weeks and nothing worked”.

“Hey!”

“Go on, finish copying those padds”.

 

When they entered the transporter room they didn’t find what they were expecting. Usually, in a room like that, one expects to find machines beeping, people operating controls, other people standing on the transport pads. 

Instead, what they found was the Intendant, with an arm around Smiley’s neck, pointing a phaser at him, with 5 bajoran guards protecting her, and most of the Defiant crew unconscious, dead or pointing at them. Sisko was on the floor, bleeding, and Julian was not sure if he was even breathing. 

“Get back!” Jules pushed him out of the room and against a wall. “They didn’t see us. We need to do something”.

“What do you suggest? The Defiant is almost empty, most people are on the station while Smiley’s crew repairs it”.

“Grab a phaser, hide it, and follow my lead”.

“Grab? From wh -” Jules pulled a second phaser from under his shirt. “How many weapons do you carry with you?”

“Enough. Come on. Do as I do, ok?”

“I trust you, Jules. Let’s go”.

Jules grabbed Julian’s shirt and pushed him inside the room, shouting.

“You asshole! I can’t believe you stole from me!” The guards turned and pointed at them, but the pair didn’t pay attention.

“I didn’t steal, Jules!  _ I _ can’t believe you are accusing me!”

Julian turned and pushed Jules against a wall, getting a bit closer to the intendant. Jules squirmed under his arm.

“Yes you did! Empty your pockets, I know you have it!”

“Excuse me, boys!” Kira tried to intervene, but they ignored her.

“I won’t empty anything for you, you... cheap copy of me!”

“Oh, I am cheap, now? You well fed, pampered, cardassian-lover excuse of a human...”

“Hey, terrans! If you don’t mind, I’m staging a coup here!” the Intendant was beginning to lose her patience. She tapped on Smiley’s temple with her phaser.

“Oh, shut up, bajoran! This fat human stole my lucky stone!”

“Sorry, he stole your what?” She eased her pressure on Smiley’s neck without realizing. She looked to Julian, from head to toes, trying to figure out what to think of what she had just heard.

Now they were a few feet away from her. Just one more...

“I don’t even know what you are talking about! Are you drugged or something? And are you calling me fat?”

“Yes, I am... Now, Julian!”

They turned, and Julian shot Kira, stunning her enough to make her release Smiley. They used her as a shield and turned to the bajoran guards, and the Defiant crew shot on Jules mark, making them move back, until one grabbed the unconscious Intendant and beamed them away.

Julian went to the floor to check on Sisko’s vitals.

“He’s gonna be fine. I thought for a moment he was dead”. He treated him and the other injured ones, turning to Jules when he finished. “Your  _ lucky stone _ ? And did you call me fat?”

“Hey, I’m not good at improvising. Anyway it worked, didn’t it?”. Jules shrugged. Compared to him, Julian  _ was _ fat, after all.

“We make quite a good team, don’t you think?”

“We are the same after all, Julian”.

“Yes, we are the same”.

“See you soon?”

Julian stepped on the pad, but thought it better and walked down. Smiley sighed. He just wanted that bloody damn day to finish and the Julians kept making it longer and longer. Julian stood in front of Jules and then, impulsively hugged him. Jules looked like he would wring out of it at first, but then he relented and returned the gesture.

“I’m going to miss you, Jules. Come to the other side one day, yes?”

“Only if you promise to let me use one of your prince costumes”.

“I’ll even let you talk with my Kukalaka”.

“Will you  _ please _ step on the bloody pad, Julian? I’ve been on duty for 40 hours and I really need to sleep”.

Julian patted Smiley’s shoulder.

“I’ll miss you too, Smiley. Be kind to Jules”.

“Whatever”. He softened and smiled. Thank you, all of you. We would not have won without you two and captain Sisko”.

Sisko smiled at him.

“I won’t say always a pleasure because I’d prefer to stay in my own universe, but I’m proud of what you accomplished here. You are great leaders”.

The last thing Julian saw before getting back to his universe was Jules’ smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We had a chat with StarTravel when I started writing this about how it would be even possible for Jules to be actually thinner than Jules, and well, here is the result. Now the only thing left to post is the epilogue, that is already almost finished!
> 
> Comments are love!


	6. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julian talks with his friends about his experiences. Fluff happen.

“So, tell me more about our mirror twins, Julian. Was I amazing?” Jadzia’s eyes were glowing.

“Actually, you were… dead. And not joined. No symbionts in that universe”.

Jadzia pouted.

“Oh, that’s sort of a bummer, Julian. So, the only thing you know about me is that I was dead?”

“No, well… you and I… I mean, the other I… the I from there… Jules. Jules was with you, Jadzia. You were a couple”.

“Now that sounds interesting”. Garak’s expression was placid, but there was a bit of a dangerous thing in his eyes.

“Oh, don’t be jealous, you old lizard. I already have Worf”. Jadzia was still smiling and patted Garak’s arm.

“Old lizard?” Garak said with mock outrage. “So, what about me?”

Julian thought a bit.

“You were a total jerk. Last time you threw me on the slaves’ pit and threatened to kill me. Didn’t get to see much of you this time, though. Worf had you on a leash”.

“Excuse me?” Now Garak was outraged. Worf turned his head when he heard that. He made a strangled noise that in anybody else would have been a snort. 

“A literal leash. With metal chains and all that”.

Jadzia opened her eyes wildly and looked at Worf.

“Now that sounds interesting”.

“No”. Worf slowly got to his feet and got away from Jadzia.

“‘No’ what?” Jadzia pouted and grabbed his arm.

“No to whatever you are thinking”.

“You didn’t even hear what I’m thinking!”

“I don’t need to”.

He just turned and left.

“I’ll make him say yes”.

“Don’t tell us yes to what, Jadzia, I beg you”, Miles said from the other side of the pub’s bar.

“Oh, I won’t” She raised her pint and drank a bit. “But I know deep down you all want to know”.

“No, we don't. We don't, right guys?” Miles looked around and Garak and Julian avoided his eyes. Go figure. Jadzia looked at him with a smug smile and turned again to Julian.

“So, I also heard there are a lot of sensual things in that universe, catsuits going on, and all that. Did you wear one?”

Julian choked with his beer.

“A what?”

“A catsuit, Julian. Don’t be shy, give us details”.

“I for one, as a tailor, would pretty much appreciate hearing about it, my dear”. Garak’s smile was dirty. He got closer to Julian and caressed his arm.

Julian threw his hands to the air and blushed.

“There were no catsuits, guys. We were with the resistance, healing people, blowing up stuff. Most of the time I was dirty”.

“Awww, really? Garak, don’t you think we should remedy that?”

“Jadzia, what…?” Julian opened his eyes.

“Oh, dear, I’ll get my sizing tools. This requires more exact measurement than my regular suits”. Garak started to pull them out of his pockets. “Don't let him get away”.

Miles got up in a hurry. Julian tried to get away too, but Jadzia caught his arm. He knew resistance was futile. They would eventually get him to do whatever they were thinking. Miles just hoped they wouldn't make him parade on the promenade with whatever they were about to make him wear.

“Ok guys, I’m out of here. Call me if you need me to fix anything. And please, don’t send me holoimages of whatever you are thinking of doing”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this is it! I had a beginning and an ending, and there were 4 chapters in the middle to figure out. I'm quite happy with the end result.
> 
> As always, comments are love, and I'd like to know what did you think of this, because I'm really proud of this little piece!


End file.
